Sammy’s Homework

Sammy’s very eager to learn.  He’s 5 years old and already knows how to multiply and divide and do basic algebra. Examples of Sammy’s homework:

 

Fractions

Sammy was working on his math problems.  We think his answer to the fish problem is reasonable:

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Setting of the Story

Sammy read a story book from school.  Mummy was testing Sammy but Sammy could not understand the meaning of ‘setting’:

Mummy: Sammy, where was the setting of the story?

Sammy: What do you mean “setting”?

Mummy: Where did the story happen?

Sammy: Seriously, what does that mean?

Mummy: I mean, where were the characters when the story happened?

Sammy: In the book!

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Drawing – 11 Days of Christmas

Pia made some nice drawings about her 11 days of Christmas (she wasn’t able to finish the 12th)

 

Pia’s Drawing–3rd Day of Christmas

 

Pia’s Drawing – 2nd Day of Christmas

 

Threat

Sammy was sitting on the sofa. Sammy is annoyed that he can’t use the computer, because Daddy is using it.

Sammy: Daddy, when I feel like I have a lot of fart, I will fart on your face.

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A Child’s Pure Love

Daddy changed the passwords of the computers to control the children from spending too much time playing on them.

One day during lunch, after having watched the film ‘Anne of Green Gables’ where the children saw Anne’s beloved old friend die from a sudden heart attack:

Sammy: Daddy, I don’t want you to die.

Daddy: Thank you Sammy, but I’m not dying.  Why are you afraid I might die?

Sammy: Because if you die, then we can’t use the computer because we don’t know the password.

Daddy: Mummy knows the password.

Sammy: (Relieved) Phew!

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Behaviour Control

When Sammy spends too much time playing games on the computer, Mummy has to remind him to stop. Sometimes Sammy hates having to stop.

Sammy: Mummy, next time when you don’t let me play the computer, I will hide your mobile phone.

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Magic Water

Sammy sometimes complain of headaches, especially when the weather changes from hot to cool:

Sammy: (Heading to the fridge) My head hurts.  I think I need to get some fainting water.

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How a Wireless Mouse Works

Daddy and Sammy were looking at two wireless mouses in an electronics catalogue.  One was $26 and the other was $59.

Sammy: (pointing at the cheaper one $26) Daddy, why is this only $26?

Daddy: (trying to figure out the difference) Hmm… let’s see… this more expensive one is wireless.  That means it can talk to the computer without…

Sammy: Without a telephone?

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Toilet Aphorism

Once in a while, when Sammy plays a computer game and gets so focused at it,  he forgets to answer the call of nature (he starts pooing in his pants). 

It used to happen quite often, but not much anymore. Except last night it happened again:

Daddy: (carrying Sammy to the toilet) Sammy!  Why did you poo in your pants?  Didn’t you know it was coming?

Sammy: Daddy!  If we don’t make mistakes, we don’t learn!

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Oil Crisis

Daddy and Mummy were watching Frasier on the computer.  Sammy walks up to them:

Sammy: Daddy, you might die.

Daddy: (?!?!) What do you mean I might die?

Sammy: We are running out of oil.

Daddy: (At first thinking that Sammy was watching a documentary about the earth running out of oil, but: a) Sammy is 5 years old, b) They were watching ‘Surf’s Up!’) What do you mean oil?

Sammy: The oil we use to make food!

Mummy: Oh, you mean cooking oil?

Sammy: Yes! We have only very little left, and if we run out we cannot cook food anymore!

Daddy: If we run out of cooking oil we can just go to the grocery to buy more.

Sammy: (Relieved) Oh, phew!

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